thinking about doing a weekly thing here…7/21/25

like maybe a book or a video of the week. or a song, or a thought, quote, or pic of my cat

let’s start with a book

have you guys read this book? i’ve been referring a lot of clients to it recently, to both single folks and couples with conflicting values. relationships are hard. Dean Spade has such a softhearted way of releasing the pressures and expectations of what relationships should be, romantic, and otherwise.

this book is a radical relational masterpiece. relational because it challenges you to bring your beliefs, needs, wants, inclinations, etc to your other(s). it’s full of prompts, and invitations to reflect on mutual care, codependency, how you relate to conflict, and your deeply rooted beliefs about love. some of the language echos 12 step principles, there are some nods to psychology, and some good global dumpster fire interventions (connection, community, mutual aid). use it for journal prompts. use it for dinner discussion. use it as a reframe or a conversation starter in your current relationships.

click here for a link to Dean’s instagram post on “the relationship elevator”.