the sleepy hedgehog
Another book I refer to regularly is Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
This book couldn’t be more thorough.
Neurobiology, check. Physiology, check. Set, Setting, and Context, check.
Lord of the Rings metaphors, car parts and functional metaphors, and cute little animal metaphors galore.
(You know how much I love a metaphor)
The Sleepy Hedgehog (the conflict/feeling/reaction) - On intimacy, emotional conflict, and nervous system care, Emily Nagoski says:
“If you find a sleepy hedgehog in the chair you were about to sit in, you should
• give it a name
• sit peacefully with it in your lap
• figure out what it needs
• tell your partner about the need, so you can collaborate to help the hedgehog”
“Getting mad at the hedgehog or being afraid of it won’t help you or the hedgehog… The calmer you are when you handle it, the less likely you are to get hurt yourself, or to hurt someone else.”
Need a little pocket reminder of this process? Print out my little zine, and fold it on up, and go!